Lads: How to Deal With Girls on the Internet.




About: A Northern Ireland based maker with a propensity to cause trouble and freshly constructed family.

After a member here complained about attacks and mean spirited jokes about the fact that she was a girl on this site I thought this may be a good idea... The original thread.

So here it goes, a guide to dealing with women on the internet, without making an ass out of yourself or your gender.

Ok a few edits and points to be made are in order. First off I'm a Dude - which in reality makes this all the worse, it's embarrassing to us lot, unfortunately some people can't help themselves...

One point people, I'm not in the habit of white knighting...

Second after some discussions with girls in both life and via comments etc. I've had general agreement on the points but more elaboration needed, also to make sure you remember they are people, you can talk to them nice and normal, it won't cause you any trouble...

Step 1: First Instincts and Reactions.

Ok now as pre-pubescent horn balls just oozing with long pent up frustration you're probably going to do one of two things.

You might find yourself rolling around on the floor drooling while intermittently asking her to date/touch you while calling her pretty. No! Down boy, this is naughty and bad.

If you alternatively find yourself typing sexist jokes and slurs while calling her rude names and insulting them in some way you are no better than the greasy little hornballs that needed to go to the toilet after realizing this.

Instead of this consider being a normal person and reacting as you would normally *odd fact, there are more girls than you think on the internet, they just don't let people like you know.*

Step 2: Being Appropriate.

OK, now I know some will want to make knobs of themselves and leave a message/comment saying you're very pretty and that's all. This is both pointless and stupid, not to mention it probably gets repetitive for them. If you have nothing else to say you have nothing to say, got it?

Try not to make a joke about their anatomy, in fact just don't, you shouldn't have to try not to.

Don't ask invasive and annoying questions just because they happen to be a female, the internet is a vast place, some of the information you seek is out there, some things are best left unasked.

You can however engage them in normal conversation and they will respond in normal ways, you could make a joke about how few girls there are about the internet, as long as you phrase it sensibly, examples being:

- Man this place was a sausage-fest before you showed up
- Wow, chick on the internet, bet you're lost (this one is a double whammy of idiocy, see there's a bit of chauvinism in there too, best left unused)
- Are you really a middle aged man?

Really it's not the best of jokes anyway but made appropriately or as an actual comment I suppose it's not that bad, but again it's probably very repetitive at the end of the day.

Step 3: In Practice...

So now you've learned that it's not ok to abuse girls for being girls on the internet why don't you try these skills out, mind you some people might well have to give you a good slap now and again to keep you on track...

Also the consequences of abusive behaviour on this and many community sites is usually banning, it's just a no tolerance policy, mainly because to level off the number of females to males on the internet would be good for everyone, again there are plenty out there but they might have other interests compared to us lads. No that doesn't mean they're looking up new apron designs and dishcloths, remember? No more of that sexism young man.

By the way a guy wrote this, one whose not too old to be a hornball and one whose smart enough not to be a greasy little wretch who consists almost exclusively of cheese and hot pockets, beyond that I have the mental capacity to go beyond your mother jokes and manage not to start every sentence with them. Some day you might stop playing WOW and get a life, slowly becoming human again. If it doesn't happen soon it's best you should no that you're part of the first group being forced to become functioning members of society when I become ruler, any defiances will be met with the troublemakers being thrown in the badger pit. By the way I added eels to it this morning, now it's slimy and deadly.



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    252 Discussions


    6 years ago on Step 3

    Well done! Now all we need is a manual for how to treat boys on the internet. ;-)

    1 reply

    Reply 3 years ago

    talk slow and with small words?


    3 years ago

    I agree with most thing said here.. well done


    3 years ago on Introduction

    Some powerful stuff written here, I can agree with some of the factors, like manners and being polite!


    4 years ago on Introduction

    Girls on the internet? What??? Females don't actually exist. Blizzard removed them in the last patch.


    6 years ago on Introduction

    If all else fails, remember: there are no women on the internet.

    Not to be sexist, but rather because the gender of the poster is utterly irrelevant.

    I have pages on Pinterest and etsy. Where estimates are that only 5-10% of the population has genitalia external, So I can verify that there are a LOT of women on the internet. And, sexism aside, a lot of them ARE looking up new apron designs and dishcloths. xD

    1 reply

    Cool, I think, best make me some apron designs, this was in response to a specific issue and should be taken as a little tongue in cheek, funny I just signed up to pinterest, should be interesting to see the community...


    7 years ago on Step 3

    If there were three kinds of people that really need a slap to the melon just for saying bad things to and about anyone on any kind of subject, they would probably be, 1. trolls. 2. The horndogs you're talking about. and 3. Nancy Grace of Fox News.


    8 years ago on Step 3 all honesty guys... i just clicked on this instructable cuz the redhead at the begginings hot

    1 reply

    8 years ago on Step 3

    HAHAHAHA epic rage paragraph at the end there man. but there is something wrong about your instructable. girls who hate you for making a sexist joke or asking if they're a middle-aged manshouldnt be on the internet. its a fact that sexist jokes are made for fun to all women. and if you get asked about being a middle aged man. its not offensive its just making sure that if you become good enough friends to meet up in person you wont get raped. simple. otherwise good instrujctable

    4 replies

    Reply 8 years ago on Step 3

    The Instructable is supposed to be a joke in alot of ways, one thing is that I make a simply obscene number of sexist jokes in a day. Thanks for not making me read another white knight comment, the Internet's sense of humour has a few dents lately


    Reply 8 years ago on Step 3

    well in that case you shouldnt be the one doing the manual labour (reading) thats a womans job ;) on another, random note. the people that call thewmselves geeks arn't. a real geek builds/progras/codes computers/software like me, but i make maps for games (primarily CSS) since its more fun :D dont ask why i said that because i cba to explain... because idk why /b/


    Reply 8 years ago on Step 3

    Your definition of geek is precise to a fault. You're essentially defining geek as the computer elite and decrying everyone else as fakes.

    Geeks can be of any skill level, and within the realm of technology, be of any interest. Geeks are those that take interest and pleasure in the use, creation, and pursuit of technology, to name a few. Geek defines a very broad range of people, and it's the elitist like you that poison society's perception of technology enthusiasts.


    Reply 8 years ago on Step 3

    "the people that call thewmselves geeks arn't"
    "a real geek builds/progras/codes computers/software like me"

    We have a real paradox here.